I will die if light touches me.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
