i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Randomize
