i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
