He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Randomize
