I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
