I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
