dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
