How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
