i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
