Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
