To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
