Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
