Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
