I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
is wine microwaveable?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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