I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize