Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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