capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
The Olympian is in my bed
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