You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize