Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
