I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
