i was born a porn star she said
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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