I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize