But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
