He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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