Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
