She's JV to your varsity
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
