So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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