I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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