So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
