How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
