hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
