11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
