that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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