hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
