hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
