a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
