i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
