i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
