this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
