I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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