Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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