You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize