i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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