Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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