Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My dad just said "fuck circus"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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