Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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