omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Randomize
