I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
