have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
