she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
