glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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