Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
