that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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