Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
