Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
