I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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