In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
