You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
