is your mom at the bar?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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