Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
