nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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