i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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