Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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