i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
