matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
