If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize