I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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