he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
