i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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