I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Gay?
German.
Pity.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
