'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
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