yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
