just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize