I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
it wasn't lemon gatorade
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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